I’d like to get pregnant by rooting
Preferably after several drinks
Jumping up and down at a band
Having sex on demand
When husbands don’t have time to think
I’d like to get pregnant with my husband
I’d prefer we were both in the room
Without calendar thermometer
Needles or pedometer
Without a feeling of impending doom
I’d like to get pregnant soon please
With no drugs or doctors or tests
And certainly no stirrups
At least before we are in it
I’d like us to feel like we’re blessed
Look I’d really like to be pregnant
And I really don’t want a bill
I am finding it tough
And I think that it’s rough
That all you people are involved, yet still
I’d really like to be pregnant
And not sick before the event
And I don’t want anaesthetising
Or age stats proselytising
Or a letter on how it all went.
But I’m trying not to be a princess
And I’m taking the jabs like a man
And I’m drinking my water
And doing what I oughta
Al though I’m no IVF fan
I’d really like us to be pregnant
We’d be a great mum and dad
So pardon my ‘tude
If it seems I am rude
But mate, IVF makes you mad.
So CAN YOU JUST GET ME PREGNANT NOW PLEASE?
Make a life start while we’re not around
Then stick it inside
And then run and hide
While the hormones they run me aground.
I’m not sure you heard me the first time
But this ISN’T MY IDEA OF FUN.
Its a day job to you
So we’re struggling through
But make us a daughter, or son?
We’d really like to be pregnant
Or it’s three thousand bucks down the drain
There’s 5 more days of waiting
And IVF hating
Then we may have to do it again.
It must be a powerful urge then
To help this species go on
If we put up with this shit
And then pay for it
To give us a daughter or son.
I’d like to give a happy ending
But now it’s just wait quietly
It’s breathe through Sunday
and just wait until Monday
And then, at midday, we’ll see.