Move along, nothing to see here.

There is only one way to start this blog post, and that is by swearing.
fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.FUCK.fuckitty FUCK FUCK IT.

I am not sure how one can have a lay down screaming two year old’s supermarket tanty on the page, but I intend to try.

So FUCK doctors.
FUCK infertility
FUCK ivf
FUCK bedrest
FUCK ‘BASTARD’, the haematoma
FUCK pregnancy
FUCK work
FUCK money
FUCK age , and insulin resistance
FUCK risks and statistics
And FUCK WASTING MY TIME with this crap.

There, that should do it.
Eloquent one day, Tourettes the next.

I LOVE that EVERY VISIT needs to start with the phrase “your baby is STILL alive “. Seriously . Is this the shittest pregnancy ever?

I LOVE the phrase , “the clot’s there, about 20ml, oh no, wait. Oh it’s ALL THE WAY up there. It’s about 60.”

I PARTICULARLY love the phrase “actually you may NOT get back to work, we’ll have to call that at about 20 weeks. BUT you’re definitely on bedrest for three more weeks. ”

Then as an aside: “and you’ll need a psychiatric assessment next time you’re in. You’re at a huge risk of antenatal and postnatal depression with the way this is going”. Excellent. This pregnancy lark just gets better and better.

I LOVE when hub-in-boots says “so at 16 weeks with no more bleeds we could relax?” and doc says “no. No at TERM you can relax. Maybe at 28 weeks, when it may be viable “.

Yeah good.

This is proving to be a fun day. Why did we decide to do this again ?

“we’ll see you in three weeks , unless you get a bright red bleed or cramping first”. god I have so much to look forward to !

On the upside, (fuck, there’s an upside?), Gumby appears oblivious to its new “clot mattress”.

The other upside is, my situation is so shite I have given up on stupid pregnancy rules. I had a nice strong macchiato (first coffee since October and possibly the best thing I’ve tasted in months), a fresh juice in my friends’ deli, and an arancini.

Seriously? Sedate me now. Put me out of my fucking misery .

Pity party over. We will now return you to your normal viewing schedule. Move along. Nothing to see here.

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10 thoughts on “Move along, nothing to see here.

  1. Argh… feel like doing some swearing with you. It all just sucks big time. I can’t even imagine the frustration and mental torture you are going through. Just happy to hear that your little one is actually doing well despite it all. Sending you lots of thoughts!!

  2. Fuuuuuuuck! I am frustrated with you and desperately want this clotting monster to do whatever good thing a clotting monster can do so you can enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.

  3. Aw, I’m frustrated for you and I really hope things get easier. You’re in my prayers daily that your baby makes it to term and is born happy and healthy. Until then, I think it’s good for you to let out your frustrations here, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Glad you got to enjoy some good food! Are you allowed bubble baths or massages? Hope you can find the tiniest ounce of peace in all this. I’m thinking of you!

    1. Busting for a long soak in the bath, but they’re banned whilst I’m still spotting. Pretty sure massages out too, unless it’s just limbs, not torso. Hell, at the moment I’d get excited by sitting upright for a couple of hours. I’ll be ok (I hope), thanks for your thoughts, today was just rant worthy. I’m going to talk to the midwife tomorrow & try and negotiate some approved time out in the backyard and maybe the occasional trip to our local cafe.

  4. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a nice macchiato every now and then. In fact, if it makes brings you joy it’s actually doing more good for you (and the baby) than you know! Keep making sure that your needs are being met. You and the baby are a team — he is finding strength in you. We all are.

    I think I’m going to have a potty mouth for the rest of the day now. Thanks! 😛

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