Calm and birth? Yeah give me 11 weeks and we’ll talk.

Well, I’ve had a mental weekend. Two outings . Wtf?  Totally breaking curfew here.

Yesterday, we did day 1 of a “calmbirth” course with 7 other couples . It was down near my mum’s place. It was a pretty interesting idea about approaching childbirth, using meditation on the breath, quiet voices in the birthing suite, dim lights and a lot of “going inwards” for contractions. Really, a lot of it seems to be going back to nature, to a less medicalised birth, and putting the mother and baby very much at the centre of the experience, even where medical intervention is needed. It isn’t anti medical, which I think is important & sensible. I mean, it’s all very well to go on about ‘back in the good old days when we birthed at home’, but there’s the whole infant mortality thing to throw into that particular mix. There has to be a balance between natural and risky, between do what the medicos say and trust your own body.

My sceptical side has a nasty idea of a child coming out to pan pipes, whale music and scented candles, when maybe Rage Against the Machine “fuck you i won’t do what you tell me” may be a little more our style. I don’t think moshing or slam dancing is strictly in line w hospital policy …and if I need a mantra to go with my breathing it may well have a swear word in it .

So, so far I’m not sure if calmbirth is our style. The course was a little content light, on the first day, and as someone who teaches for a living, I struggle a bit with sitting through other people’s teaching when it is not well planned. Hopefully day 2 next weekend will convince me, and have more actual tools rather than what i see as directionless chatter. I found it frustrating that the facilitator kept speaking of the calmbirth method and calmbirth people, but at the end of day 1, I still struggled to define what the method was. And i have no intention of being a calmbirth person. I will be ME, using calmbirth tools, if we actually get any! It’s not that the day was useless, there was interesting stuff about the research into benefits to suckling with drug free births, the importance of immediate skin to skin contact, delayed cord clamping , and good ideas of what hub-in-boots might do, and when, during labour. We even know when we’re supposed to leave for the hospital now. Not that we haven’t already been there. Part of me thinks after what we’ve been through, I’ll be so bloody relieved to make it to a third trimester labour of any kind that it will be a doddle by comparison.

It was nice, however, to get to speak with other expectant couples, and be out in the world for a change. Real live other people. Geez I find it tiring though, all that input and interaction. After 10 weeks of isolation it is hard to not feel separated from the world, even when you’re out amongst it. I think there’s a nap on the cards.

Today we went to a fun run and picnic in memory of Sully (see Thursday’s updated post), and hub-in-boots did my kilometre as well as his.

Double-up Stew running for two

This earned him a bacon & egg roll and a lolly bag, and the money went to ‘ mums like me’, a group of mums with losses that make baskets that are distributed to hospitals free, with handmade booties and clothes, teddies etc, given to parents that welcome stillborn and late miscarriage babies into the world. Michael our trainer organised a lot of it…what a dude. Click on the link and you’ll see his sporting type people blog, if you’re that way inclined. And Nanna Parra (a mad Parramatta Rugby League Supporter), walked a kilometre after at least one hip replacement at 82ish? Good on ya, Nan. Shame they lost on Friday.

Sully's run


Next to our picnic was a group on the basketball court playing, incredibly, unicycle hockey. And here I was thinking that I was doing well walking 50m from the car to the picnic and then sitting in a chair! It was so cool to watch. I was so excited to be out I had a coffee in celebration. Ever since we got home, hub-in-boots has been looking up their website, and unicycles on Ebay. So much for googling prams. We’ll need to make friends with a plastic surgeon if he does take it up.

Unicycle hockey

It was nice to catch up with the boxing crew and see how everyone was doing, and the kids running around and growing up. It’s weird when you normally see a group of people twice a week, and then you go missing in action for almost three months! A few of them not so in the loop had that “is she or isn’t she?” look on their faces, unsure whether to ask whether gumby was still in there. Yes he is, people, yes he is.

And that brings us to tomorrow. 19 week scan. Not that I’m shitting myself, or anything. How is gumby? Is he moving much? Has he grown? Is everything in the right place? How is BASTARD, the clot ? Really truly gone? How is the placenta, after all that bleeding? We find out tomorrow. I’d like to be one of the people that walk in for a scan, and walk out smiling. That would be nice.


4 thoughts on “Calm and birth? Yeah give me 11 weeks and we’ll talk.

    1. That’s brilliant, Bel. Stew and I laying in bed pissing ourselves laughing at the article. Just don’t know if I’m a ball of white light kind of girl!

  1. Good luck tomorrow! We’ll all be thinking of you and doing whatever finger-crossing / praying / good-thoughts processes we use at times like these! In for a scan and out with a smile? I hope so. People really have no idea how much is taken for granted in the world. We discovered our miscarriage through an ultrasound with no heartbeat. I live in fear that when we do get pregnant again, my blood pressure will go through the roof so I high that I will harm the baby the day of the scan – despite the reassurances of rational, medically educated people who assure me this cannot happen.

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