Well at 26 weeks, today is my first Mother’s day. It’s pretty special to turn 26 weeks today, when I know two grown ups who are alive and kicking who were born at 26 weeks.
For a long while, I didn’t think we’d get here. Since January 22nd, there have been a lot of times where I had no idea which side of the coin our fortunes would land on.
I know it’s not mothers day everywhere, but I’d like today to think of all those women who struggle, often silently, to become mums. Who, like me, just got caught up in life and almost left it too late, because of the stupid disparity between nature and culture that exists for many women now. Or who have unexplained infertility, or other problems. Who would make great mums, but don’t know at this point if they will ever get there.
I know for many of these women, mothers day is not an easy time. Some of them have suffered multiple losses: miscarriage, stillbirth, complications.
Some never got there at all. Some just try and try, and don’t choose to go on to some of the more extreme measures like ivf for many reasons.
For some, infertility becomes a relationship/life nuclear bomb, for others, it’s a quiet hollow ache. I could have been you, and I’m wishing you a happy mothers day. I think you’re more a mother than many women out there. I hope you find somewhere to give the world the benefit of those instincts, or that you find a way through.
Me, I feel like I’m going to be a mum now. Sure, something could still go wrong. But Gumby’s here kicking me in the guts, so I’m a mum already. I have a son. Which is weird. Next year, he’ll probably wake me at 5am, and dribble on me, and at about nine months old crawl all over the bed. He’ll probably smoosh my toast into the sheets. Also weird.
My very nice nieces bought me rattle toe socks for Gumby, and a gown with a hoodie. I think the hoodie is so if Gumby is a monkey baby I can go and steal someone else’s in hospital. Good planning.
Hub in boots at least didn’t buy me a sympathy card, like he did one valentines day. He did find a mothers day card with a dog drinking out of the toilet. So romantic. And some cd’s…we’ve been rocking out to Jack White (of The White Stripes fame) new solo album in our pj’s this morning. Talking about bad Mother’s day stalls at primary school full of hideous craft, remembering picking out a ceramic ash tray for my mum, who never smoked.
Poor mum. I got her a good present this year though. At 82, her sixth grandchild!