Installing the end of my tether

Yesterday, I woke at 4am. I was bored. I couldnt sleep. I wanted to see how Cadel did in the tour de France time trail, my pregnant eyes refusing to stay open the night before. The Internet was down.

I got up late after hours of lying awake, figured I’d catch highlights on sbs. Tv lost sbs reception , for no apparent reason (this has happened before).

So do what the doctor ordered. I went up late for an updated blood test, on my iron & hb1ac (average blood glucose). I was fasting, tired, not a cup of tea to my name, oh and in hub-in-boots’ ridiculous two door low slung convertible, as he was getting the car seat installed in my car. Try getting out of a 20 year old convertible at 40 years old and 8 months pregnant. The day was not panning out well.

I strike the royal bitch of a receptionist at the pathology place . I had to take a number & wait to be called, even though there was ONE other person waiting. It STILL took them 30 minutes to see me, even though there were TWO people collecting and only two patients went in in thirty minutes.

Back home in the freaking convertible, complete with its non self cancelling indicators & permanently fogged up windows. Finally get my porridge & tea.

Yeah this was panning out well.

I thought maybe hub in boots could email our neighbour & find out if he was having similar aerial troubles with sbs . No, too hard to find the address. Right. Finally he did it. The neighbour is ok, it’s just us, ring the real estate.

I thought maybe he could ring the real estate… No… I’m the at home dogsbody. Apparently that’s my job.

I thought perhaps he could ring the Internet provider. No. He forwarded me the EMAIL of the user name and password, then gave it to me on the phone… Because you can’t GET freakin email when the net is down.

Ok. Breathe. He IS getting the car seat installed at the good place that we’ve already used for the pram, in his lunch hour. He’s busy getting an important job done. He will make sure he understands how to move it in and out, and show me how.

I spent 50 minutes on the phone to the Internet provider. We reset the whole modem. To no avail. I spent 15 minutes on the phone to the real estate, then another 15 trying to send them the ‘please send us your the tv aerial is stuffed request in writing’ email over the iPhone network, in our little reception black hole. Hell, half the time I can’t send an SMS here. Yes, of course I have to confirm it in writing when THE INTERNET IS DOWN.

I didn’t want to stay here, I am so over these four walls…but I didn’t have the energy to do anything either.  Cue the iron lull. So I totter out with my sister, who is on school holidays, to the shops. Thank god she fed me lunch during the internet saga.

And as I’m leaving, the Internet company calls. I run back inside. Follow more instructions. Still no dice.

At the shops, neither of the baby things I needed are there. Cool. And of course, I look like shit, i havent showered or done my hair, have no makeup on, and run into someone from work.

I get home, and the Internet is working! Hurrah!

The Internet company calls, gets me to check it, it’s not working. Booooo.

Oh and by the way they can’t fix it. The problem is intermittent. They don’t understand the problem.
So they’ll send us a new modem.
In several days.
But they don’t know which day.
And then I’ll have to re-do the hour on the phone set up process.
And have no net in the meantime.
And have to wait around for delivery.

Hub in boots arrives home. We all traipse out to check out the car seat.

He just went to the ‘I install one car seat a month mechanic’, not the ‘all we do is install car seats and help nervous parents’ place down the road.

He very confidently goes to show us how to move it.

It quickly becomes apparent a ) he has no idea b) he picked it up from the apprentice who had no idea and showed him nothing, nada. C) it does not click in and out, but rather has a complicated impossible to adjust non removable tether strap, so you can only remove the capsule by;
* a lengthy lessening the tension on a tether,
*unlooping it from hooks on the capsule,
*leaning across to the middle of the car and destroying your back, and
*performing a level five yoga pose and sticking your tongue out.

I begin to cry. My sister and hub in boots are calm, trying to reason it out in thr pitch dark back seat of the car, but really, I’m done. My bump won’t fit in the confined space and my hands don’t work properly with pregnancy hormones so I can’t grip the clips properly. I come inside and cry half a box of tissues.

One part of my head is screaming “He had ONE JOB. ONE FREAKING job. Out of that whole list of getting ready for baby, one job. Sixty bucks and a box of Kleenex later, we are back where we started”. The other part of my head is saying “we’ve both had a rough trot. He forgot why I wanted to go to an expert fitter, not just a mechanic who fits occasional seats. He’s tired and stressed, and he showed up with flowers (and tim tams i love but am not meant to eat)”.

After I calm down a bit, of course I’d like to look up manufacturer’s instructions. But did I mention THE INTERNET IS DOWN????

Luckily my sister’s iPad is on a different network Which occasionally gets reception here. There are no videos on YouTube to help& I find one PDF describing how to install the current model, but of course the words won’t stay in my head. My head seriously will not work . Baby brain. I go back to the car, to find that the $60 installation has installed the whole thing on a random back cushion I had kicking around the car. With no explanation. So the base of the capsule is not even touching the seat. I also find they haven’t even closed the cover over the tether hook. Or basically done anything.

I slept in the spare room. Afraid I’d wake in the night and just try and tear hub in boots apart. Poor hub in boots. I thought about just getting in my car and going, i had this run away urge. Still do.  My sister backed out of the house before round 2 with the car seat, leaving her ipad, with the facial expression of someone leaving a very active minefield.

I am still laying in bed in the nursery. And hoping like hell today is better. I think all the keeping on going, all the oh my god are we going to lose this baby days that went on for months and months have just hit me all at once. I think every bit of low iron, and pregnancy hormone weirdness, it has all arrived. I suppose the question is what I do with it…sit and wait for it to pass, write or talk it out, look for professional help which I may or may not need. I know what the problem is.

The problem is the maths of this fucked up pregnancy,

4 weeks then a positive test+

5 weeks standard first trimester breath holding +

15 weeks of almost miscarriage/almost late pregnancy loss/almost severely preterm labour and bedrest & no life of varying degrees of difficulty+

10 weeks of oh we’re going to be parents are we ready for a baby?

This equals 34 weeks, but it also equals 9 months worth of normal first baby complex emotional processing (plus the geez that was a close one aftermath )in 10 weeks flat. Little wonder I feel not depressed, not anxious, but just bloody overwhelmed. It’s kind of like teachers that always get sick in the first week of holidays… The stress hits after the fact.

And I have six weeks to get my shit together.

Make that five and a half. With no Internet.

No wonder I’m having trouble with my tether.

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