New to the home shopping network this week for that baby in your life: the horizontal-o-meter.
Babies, Worried you’ll miss out on something happening? Concerned those new parents of yours are just doing it too damn easy? Now the horizontal-o-meter will solve all your first year dilemmas. Just ask satisfied customer, Jensen Angus.
“I was worried the folks were really handling the changes well. That’s when I signed up for the horizontal-o-meter. Now, whenever I move from arms to bassinet, my horizontal o meter goes off and I spring into alertness. No chance of unwanted sleep here. ”
The deluxe model comes with a parent sensor. “I’m so glad I got the deluxe one” Jensen adds. “now, I can feign deep sleep, but as soon as mum or dad are horizontal BANG! I hit them like a landmine. It’s so easy to use, it’s child’s play. I can relax in the knowledge that I won’t miss out on happenings around the house, securing me a few more dances to the rolling stones with dad, or extra feeds from mum. I don’t know how babies ever survived without the horizontal-o-meter.”
Stay tuned for new product developments in this range such as the “just opened a bottle of wine meter”, “almost got to pretend they had a life meter” for sneaky nights out, and the “just sat down to dinner meter”.
The horizontal o meter is yours for just 12 easy payments of your life savings, plus postage and handling, cause lets face it they are never gonna get out to an actual store again. Buy one and get free installation in that baby in your life.