All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth

Or so we thought.

Teething. It’s a bugger.

We took jman into town to see the fabbo windows and st Mary’s cathedral light show on Saturday night. Totally unplanned outing.

It was beautiful. Gorgeous. Just the kind of thing I’ve looked forward to doing with our boy in tow.

We got the ferry in. What a great Xmas night out. We decided to top it off with a late dinner at the Sheraton on the park hotel.

Which is where jman started shrieking.

It was funny at first.

Then it got scary.

Then we were freaking, waiting for a bus as the carols by candlelight crowd descended on the meagre public transport offerings that is late night Sydney.

Sunday, it got worse.and worse. It got to the point I was having a meltdown every time it started. Jman was happy, joking,laughing, and then the screaming would begin. It ramped up to breathless ear splitting shrieks. It was godawful. We drugged him up to his eyeballs, at least that’s what it felt like. I’m against anything unnecessary…but this kid was in Pain, with a capital P.

And it coincided with hub in boots doing a night shift for brownie points. Which meant I had to a) keep jman quiet for night shift sleepy time and b) I had to handle him relatively alone.

Long story short, jman and I have spent the last 24 hours in emergency. Hub in boots and my sister joined in the fun this morning, and my sister helped out with lifts last night for hysterical mother. At first they suspected hysterical first time mum syndrome. Then they were considering a bowel intussusection. Then they looked at an ear infection. Babies and health. It’s like the the worlds longest multiple choice question.

Why is baby j screaming? Is it

A) he’s being an ass
B) teething
C) a bowel problem
D) a urine infection
E) an ear infection
F) did I mention teething?
G) colic (whatever the hell that means other than ‘random collection of unexplained baby crap’)
H) noting, hysterical parent
I) something really bloody serious
J) none of the above ?

It turns out it was J. He does have inflamed lymph nodes in his tummy, so there’s something going on. And it took them 24 hours to eliminate all the others and select j) go home with your screaming baby, and by the way, merry freakin Xmas.

But we’re glad he’s ok. I’m pretty sure my left boob is full of red bull, because jman is up for a party tonight. We missed mass at the local church, which I was upset about (because it involves a petting zoo , primary school kids dressed as angels and shepherds, a stubborn donkey and a live crib scene) …but for a good reason.

And he’s still not quite himself, his and daddys wagon isnt yet put together (oops. photos later), but I think he’ll be ready to tackle his first Xmas tomorrow.

Merry Xmas y’all. Try and avoid emergency departments. Peace and love to you and yours. Sing a daggy carol. Eat fattening food. Drink anything with bubbles. Hug an ugly uncle. Say ‘I love it’ about a lame present. Enjoy the spirit, with your family, real, invented, past or envisioned in your future.

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