Mother of invention #16: pram face

Have you ever noticed when you take your little angel out in the stroller or pram, they zone out? Ever try to engage with a pram faced toddler? It’s like they think you’re the hired help with no right to interact with the main man. The squealing bundle of movement that wouldn’t leave you alone is reduced to a zen like calm after a few short blocks, a couple of birds and a few cars whizzing by.

Parents, wouldn’t it be nice if you could summon pram face whenever you liked? Well now, thanks to the baby shopping network, you can.

Find yourself with a toddler standing on a shopping centre change table covered in poo, kissing himself in the mirror whilst simultaneously dropping the wipes into the sink?^^ A single spray of Pram face mist will leave him blissed out, lying down cooperatively and compliant within seconds.

Trying to visit grandma in hospital with a complete nutcase of a child, who tries to swipe her dinner, run down the corridor, and make friends with people with infectious disease?^^ A single wafting mist of Pram face will have him quietly holding his sippy cup, sitting on the bed watching Peppa Pig.

Trying to dress a boa constrictor who is hanging upside down from a light fitting, throwing toast and trying to poke you in the eye^^? Pram face will fix it.

Tired of being used as a human gymnasium, dying to sip just one cup of tea from beginning to end? A little dab of Pram face concentrate behind the ears and you’ll be leafing though a magazine whilst watching Oprah in no time.

How about those car seat wobblies? The arched back, the tears, the head shaking, the complete and utter refusal to cooperate with being strapped in? You’ll see the car face soon enough, but in the meantime, you need Pram face.

Recommended doses are not more than three squirts a day, so choose your pram face moments wisely. Available In peppermint, lavender and cheap wine scent, with a super economy sized pack just out, and a free purse pack with every purchase.

Pram face. You know you want to.

Get yours today.

^^ this really happened


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