Maintenance Mondays

Most Mums don’t look after themselves. They are last priority, after everyone else. Which means they are the bit of the to do list which never gets “done”.

I have dedicated windows in the week which are both ‘me time’ and exercise time. I rarely break them. It’s essential to top up your tank. It makes me a better mum. 

But I would cancel three hair appointments before I make it to one. And Physio appointments. And i have to be dying to get to the local doctor. Though I am a bit better now they have a web booking app and I can check out available time slots and juggle everything in my head at 11pm at night while I book.

Recently, I’ve tried to make more of my lunch hours at work by doing yoga at lunch time. And to get more exercise in I took on a fitness challenge that was in your own time at home. 

I’ve had a pretty sore hip for a long time. About six months ago I started getting Physio on it, but I gave up when I couldn’t fit in all the rehab exercises around work, drop off, pick up and dinner.

When I started the fitness challenge recently, the sore hip ramped up a notch. After cancelling three Physio appointments I found a Physio across the road from my office.

I was a bit shocked when he immediately asked me to get an MRI. $300, it had better show something. I argued with him a bit about it, eventually giving in. But the whole Physio then dr for referral then scan then pick up results seemed epic in my busy week. Just not worth the effort.

I thought something really ugly was going on when I read ” bone marrow odema”. It went on to say “stress fracture in pelvis”. Wtf? I’m WALKING AROUND, doing shed loads of exercise, moving furniture up and down the steepest driveway on earth as we got the big boy bed in place for jman, beating myself up for not moving more…,WITH A FRACTURED PELVIS? Sweet Jesus, am I that far out of tune with what I need? Am I that low on the priority list that broken freakin bones don’t count? Not sleeping for pain all night doesn’t count?

I’ve now instituted ‘maintenance Mondays’ with my all female team at work. Every Monday we have to do something we’ve been putting off…even if we just make an appointment. Medical or beauty related. Pap smears, breast exams, eye tests, following up on that niggly hip pain, getting our eyelashes tinted. 

This is the last time I’m last on the list. 

Ladies, please, you are not too busy for you. Keep your medical checks up to date. Look after yourself. Move yourself up on the to do list. Take on maintenance Mondays.

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A thousand and forty one nights

So today, I’ve agreed to go on a brief last minute business trip, against my better judgement. An overnight to Brisbane for a presentation.

I can remember the feeling of the walls closing in when jman was born, when I looked ahead and thought about breastfeeding, about life in general, and thought “crap! I’m trapped. I’m really really trapped”. He needs me every two hours. Get me a paper bag to breathe into.

Somehow, as the blob turns into a small person, and the small person turns into a bigger person, as I adjusted to this new version of myself, the “trap” became what I wanted to do. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else, or wanting to be. Mostly. Like any mother I had the Thelma and louise meets disappear to a five star hotel alone without notice fantasy, yep, but mostly,I wanted to be there for him. Mostly, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

Tonight, after a thousand and forty one nights, I will be somewhere else. 36 hours apart…the longest separation we have had in nearly three years.

Parenting, where you have to go from separate to embedded and intertwined, wrapped together, and somehow, over time, get back to being separate people. Separate but bound. Tied. Linked. It’s like a personality decathlon for the parent. And I suspect, with this bring our first night apart, this is only about the fourth event.

I’ll be thinking of you, jman. I will also quite enjoy the king sized bed.

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